How Trusting Yourself Can Open a Path to Your Dreams

When I first started applying for a job, I had floated applications to vacancies where I deemed myself qualified. I remember how excited I was to finally be a grown-up and earn my own money. With high hopes, I thought that I trusted myself enough to realize what I could and could not do (and that employers would know it too!)

First application?…hmm, nada. 

It’s the first application anyway–I thought.

Second application, third, fourth, fifth… still nothing, except for some returned messages saying: “We regret to inform you that…..”

Rejection after rejection, failure after failure…then I started to second guess myself. Am I not good enough? Is it wrong to trust myself this much? What am I doing wrong? Why does this keep happening to me? How can they require experience knowing this is an application for people starting their careers?

Have you been in this same situation?

Then you start to feel down… you feel bad about yourself… you look for answers that seem so elusive.

Anything but putting my face out there!

These questions may root in our lack of self-confidence and self-trust more than we even realize. Let’s flashback a little:

When I was still a freshman in the university, we had many group work activities. I remembered how hard I tried to dodge being the one to report in front of the class. I usually volunteered to do the research and stuff and let someone else do the talking.

Why did I do that? I felt like the others were better at presenting than me. I feared that I might flunk the team with me. In other words, I didn’t trust myself enough that I could do it. Subsequently, I’ve conquered that (still improving on it) and if you see my Instagram page, you’ll see I show my face a lot more.

Self Trust

Trust: It’s surprising how this five-letter word may influence how we deal with others and with ourselves.

More often than not, how you trust others reflects how you trust yourself. Trusting, even yourself gets more complicated because of past experiences and events that have affected your life.

Self: is the most important element in changing your life course. Self is the other half of this relationship: Self-trust. As TRUST is the “driver,” SELF “does the errands.”

Many inspirational leaders teach us: “trust yourself,” “be more confident.” I know, it’s easier said than done. However, it’s how it works in reality. Life has a lot of variables that affect your self-confidence and self-trust. Besides, trusting in its essence is difficult, especially in trusting yourself. It may be because you know yourself too well or you don’t know yourself at all. But you cannot know what you can achieve for the first time before trying it. There is a certain element of faith in self-trust.

Whatever the case may be, trusting yourself may lead you to opportunities you can never imagine. 

Therefore, the more challenging question is, “How would you build your self trust?” Reaching that cognizance within yourself often doesn’t come easy. It needs acknowledgment and willpower to do so. 

How Would You Build Your Self Trust?

Now, let’s try to answer that question.

1. Appreciate your uniqueness

Know that you are you and that there’s no one exactly like you. Do you know that even identical twins’ differences have an average of 5.2 genetic mutations? This is based on a research article published on January 7, 2021, in the Journal of Nature Genetics.

Given this fact, appreciate that you have your own unique way of dealing with difficulties, problems, and challenges. Understand that your brain works differently, uniquely. Having this discernment will save you the time in beating yourself up: Why didn’t I think like you? Why didn’t I think about it like that? It’s because YOU’RE YOU, you’re different, you’re unique. Appreciating your uniqueness is the first step in trusting yourself. 

2. Capitalize on your strengths

As unique and individual as you are, you have your own set of strengths and weaknesses. So, understanding what you’re good at will help you strengthen these even more. Knowing your weaknesses will give you the chance to perhaps improve on them or find people who would help you get through them. 

Remember the story I shared with you earlier about how I avoided presenting in front of the class? Hey, I know – you have to face your fears head-on. Those choices have made me realize how competitive I can be. On the other hand, I regretted not being the one who presented in class when my groupmate didn’t perform as well as I wanted him to be. I recognized that being mediocre would not cut it… at least for me. I learned that certain results are partnered with certain efforts. Capitalizing on your strengths allows you to move a step closer to trusting yourself.

3. Step out of your comfort zone

When I recognized that I wanted outstanding results, I started to do things I was not comfortable doing. Just the same, I realized that the most difficult part is always the beginning. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Changes need to be done consistently for improvements to materialize.

Stepping out of your comfort is not just doing things that you are compelled to do. These may be things that you opt to do for self-development. Say, learning a new language or learning a new recipe. Stepping out of your comfort zone may give you the confidence that you can do what you set your mind to and helps you trust yourself further. 

4. Choose what motivates you 

In most cases, we get discouraged when the going gets tough. More so when we hear people say unpleasant comments. It’s going to be difficult. Why would you choose to be in an uncomfortable situation? Are you sure you can make it? 

Let me share one of my favorite parables with you:

The Frog that Refused to Listen
By Amey Hegde (Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker)

One day, some frogs joined a climbing contest to the top of a very high tower. Many frogs gathered to see the race. The race began! The crowd didn’t believe anyone could reach the top of the tower and started shouting: 

Oh, way too difficult! 
They will never make it to the top! 
The tower is too high!

Some frogs got demotivated. The frogs began falling down one by one. A few frogs continued. The crowd continued to shout: 

It’s too difficult! 
No one will make it! 

Some more frogs got demotivated. More frogs got tired and gave up. But one frog continued. It continued to climb and, after a big effort, reached the top. 

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The journey to trusting yourself is a series of ups and downs. It may be a bumpy ride, but sometimes these rides give us the most exhilarating feeling! Would you rather be on the safe side? Would you take a chance on a better adventure? 

These “noises” are distractions that will always be there. It is up to you if you choose to listen or not…choose wisely.

5. Trust the process

In the beginning of this blog, I shared with you how I got refused not once, not twice but many times when I started applying for a job. Sure, I cried, I felt down, I second-guessed myself. But you know what? Those rejections gave me the opportunity to look within myself. 

Am I not good enough? I realized how tough the world out there was! It gave me the chance to better myself to make these employers not refuse me anymore. To show what I could offer even though I had no prior experience to show. Is it wrong to trust myself this much? No, it’s not. 

However, trusting yourself should be accompanied by skill, confidence, knowledge, and wisdom to make it out there. What am I doing wrong? You’re not doing anything wrong. Failure is part of the process… process of learning to know what to do better next time. Why does this keep happening to me? This may be rephrased to: What is this trying to teach me? 

Building your self-trust needs conscious effort, consistency in actions, continuous learning, and appreciation of your achievements. 

How Trusting Yourself Can Open a Path to Your Dreams

Trusting yourself may lead you to opportunities you can never imagine. Let us count the ways: 

1. Trusting yourself builds self-confidence

Once you have built your self-trust, you would have developed that consciousness of knowing what you can do. Knowing what you can do increases your level of self-confidence. This self-confidence gives you a clearer understanding that some things don’t always turn out the way we want. And that if you are faced with failures, you’ll use them as opportunities. Opportunities for growth..opportunities to know which way works better. 

If plan B doesn’t work, you still have plans C to Z to try out!

2. Trusting yourself creates self-awareness

Trusting yourself gives you that sense of perception in knowing what drives you. Being more in sync with your inner voice. Listening to your inner voice gives you the right answers. That inner voice unveils your heart’s desires. That inkling you feel deep within helps you decide which one works for you and which one doesn’t. 

Remember, if it doesn’t feel right, maybe it isn’t how it is supposed to be. Trusting yourself makes you trust your intuition further. 

3. Trusting yourself makes others trust you more 

It’s amazing how the universe reverts back to what you give out: the law of attraction. Trusting yourself gives you confidence in your abilities. When this confidence reflects on you, the right people you want to attract notice it too. In turn, opportunities will keep knocking at your door. It will just be a matter of: which one will you choose?

4. Trusting yourself opens a path to your dreams

Ultimately, trusting yourself gives you the freedom you aspire for. Is it financial freedom? Freedom from not seeing your boss? From your hustle and bustle lifestyle? 

I was once a successful regular employee with a steady, high-paying job as an IT consultant for more than 20 years. At one point in time, I had a fueling desire to aspire for more than what I was so used to. I mustered the courage to leave the corporate world to establish my own business. 

Was I 100% sure of the decision I made? Hell no, but the voice within me somewhat comforted me and made me feel that everything will be alright. 

Did worry, and anxiety hit me? Hell yes, totally… but I knew in my heart that I had to trust myself that I could do it if I wanted to change the course of my life. Did I regret trusting myself in making the choices I have made? Absolutely not. If it weren’t for those decisions, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t know the things I know now. 

Is it worth the risk? Unequivocally, yes. I am currently living what used to be just a dream. And I wouldn’t have realized it if I hadn’t taken that initial step of trusting myself. 

What about you? There might be a Jobs or a Zuckerberg in you waiting to be unleashed that would change the world. Or better yet, change YOUR world. 

Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.

W. Churchill

Have a blissful week!