Tips For Addressing Fear Of Public Speaking
The New York Times made this fascinating short video (see below) about one of the basic human fears: the fear of heights. In it, some people were asked to jump off from a 10 meter jumping board into a swimming pool. There was no danger to it, other than what the mind tells us. Fear can be paralyzing, and fear stops us from achieving even good things in our lives. But why, and how can we overcome irrational fears, such as speaking in front of a crowd?
Let me clarify I am not discussing healthy fears. If you find yourself in a situation where your safety or wellbeing is at risk, naturally fear will play an important role in keeping you alive and well. What fascinates me is the irrational fear. The one we feel when there’s no justification. And, more specifically, the fear of doing the things we know we need to do to grow. So fear of spiders or bugs in general is totally irrelevant for this discussion (unless you need to work with insects).
Why Do We Feel Irrational Fears?
We understand a certain situation poses no threat, yet we are terrified about it. Many people have fear of public speaking. But what’s behind it? To answer this it helps to look into which are the 6 basic human fears:
- The fear of poverty
- The fear of criticism
- The fear of sickness
- The fear of loss of love of someone
- The fear of old age
- The fear of death
Here, we can make a clear relation with the fear of criticism. If there’s any chance we’ll make a fool of ourselves by talking publicly, it is definitely a reason to not want to do it, right? Or…
How Can We Overcome Fears that Stop us from Achieving Goals?
We may be talking about fear of public speaking, but these tips really apply to any irrational fear. Sticking with the example of making a public speech, let’s see if this fear holds water. If you have an opportunity of making a public speech, I’m going to assume you know the subject and has some time to prepare. If you don’t know the subject and don’t have time to prepare, however, then this fear has some rationality behind it: unless you’re very good at improvising there’s a good chance you may not do great and get criticized for it.
So, in the worst case scenario, you don’t know the subject too well and have no time to prepare. That would frighten me and I’m not afraid of public speaking. This is tricky and my thought would be: is that a position you need to put yourself into? If this happened to me, if I could, I’d pass. Or at least ask for more time in order to prepare. Sometimes, though, preparation will never be enough, and you just have to jump. (Just make sure you have a safety net).
In the best case scenario, this is your area of expertise and you have time to prepare. Still, you’re scared to death. How to deal with this? The first tip is: use the time you have to prepare. Rehearse, prepare, rehearse, prepare, repeat – to exhaustion. By the time the day of the presentation comes, you will have zero insecurities about delivering it, reducing the need to be afraid to make an mistake.
But What If…?
But what if I’m asked a question I don’t know the answer to? In that case, say it’s a very good question and that you’ll look into it and get back with an answer. No one expects anyone to be an encyclopedia. Plus, you have found an opportunity to tell the audience how to follow up with you after seeing your talk.
Now you are as prepared as you can possibly be, and you know how to handle the audience. Still, you are afraid of getting out there. That’s ok: it means you are passionate about what you are doing and you want to deliver it the best way possible. Maybe the final stretch has you racing with all the “What ifs” and spiraling down in more anxiety and fear. The good news is you can shift your mindset. This is where you need to pull your irrational thoughts down from the cloud and question them, one by one:
how likely is that to happen?
if it were to happen, what is the real impact it would have? What could I do to mitigate it?
what if it works out better than expected? How would that feel?
By answering those questions (and not the “what ifs”), you’ll get much closer to quieting your fears down and walking onto that stage confidently. It may not be possible to completely eliminate that fear, but by confronting it and doing it anyway, you won’t be allowing it to stop you from achieving your goals. Besides, you’ll be building your confidence along the way.
Other Fears
In addition to the 6 basic fears listed above, two other very common fears people suffer from are fear of success and fear of failure. These are also fears that very commonly stop us from achieving our dreams. The ironic part is that, by making us so afraid that we don’t move an inch forward, it becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy and keeps us from achieving what we want.
For example, say you’re afraid of failing at your new business and not being able to afford your bills. Let’s go back to the list of questions above. How likely is it to happen, and what could you do if it did? If it didn’t work, you would want to devise a plan B. Is there something you can fall back to? Something you can do for an extra income, or temporary help you can get? Know that it’s ok to try and fail. Do you know what the worse outcome really is? It’s when you decide to never even try.
Conclusion
Everybody has fears, and they can literally paralyze us from achieving things we want to in our lives, for totally irrational reasons. However, we should not ignore them nor feed them.
The way out here is through. We confront them and expand our range by focusing on what’s the prize on the other side of fear. We defuse it by realizing that if nothing goes according to plan, we will still be alive and well, and know that at least we tried. And we’ll learn and be better from it anyway. You know that thing that will add to your life but you’re afraid of? Why don’t you go ahead and do it?
As for the video about the fear of heights and how each individual who tries to jump deals with it, watch for yourself (it’s super entertaining). I am afraid of heights and, unless I knew jumping would somehow take me to the next level of my life, I would not want to confront that fear (yet).
I’m up for expanding my comfort zone and confronting any fears if I see I’ll come up on the other side better for it. Surely writing this blog, the weekly e-mails (are you subscribed? If not, go to the bottom of the page and subscribe!), and the social media exposure have all been stepping stones in confronting my fears.
How about you, would you jump?