Hal Elrod’s 5 Minute Rule to Handle Frustration
While working on my last 9-5 corporate job, I used to have a long daily commute. To pass the time, I developed a habit of listening to podcasts, where I learned a whole lot both about personal development and entrepreneurship. One of the episodes that stick on my mind and I thought was so good that I still enjoy listening to was the one where Katie from Wellness Mama interview Hal Elrod (author of the famous The Miracle Morning), where he mentions one of the most valuable lessons he learned and that he applied to his life, called the 5 Minute Rule, to handle frustration.
Hal’s Incredible Story
But before explaining what that is, if you don’t know much about Hal Elrod’s story, it is worth starting there. He survived at least two life-threatening situations, one after a car accident where he was dead for 6 minutes, brought back but the doctors said he’d never walk again. On another one where he was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer and told he had a 30% chance of surviving it. On both occasions, his reaction was to decide he was not going to accept that predicament until proved wrong, and he was going to be healthy again.
Not only he did that but then went on to write the book that was translated into 37 languages, sold over 2.5 million copies all over the world, and changed people’s lives, teaching his Miracle Morning method. That is the very short version of his story, of course, considering many other not health-related challenges that Hal faced.
Each time, he decided to have an optimistic attitude (delusional even, as he describes himself), accompanied by a great sense of humor and contagious enthusiasm. He also very humbly points out he started out life as a very mediocre person with no ambition nor talents until a friend convinced him to work as a salesman and he started breaking the company’s sales records.
The 5 Minute Rule to Handle Frustration
When he started that first job which changed everything for him, he learned a very important lesson from his manager: life will always throw you curveballs, and things you had planned will sometimes not work out as you wanted them to. People you schedule appointments with will cancel, you won’t get the promotion you wanted, it will rain on the day of your wedding.
What his manager said he should do in these situations, which Hal applied to his whole life, was this: when something like this happens, put a timer of 5 minutes on your watch. During those five minutes, allow yourself to feel and express all of that frustration, anger, and upset. Curse, stomp your feet, go over it in your brain until the alarm goes off. When it does, your time to be upset is up. You then have to move on. He even added three magic words to mark the end of the process: “can’t change it“.
Easier with Practice
At first, Hal said it was really difficult to actually stop feeling upset when the 5 minutes were up. However, what he noticed was that, with time, he needed less and less time to get over things he could not change anyway. He looked at the watch and see still 4 minutes left, and think: “but I’m over it. why spend another 4 minutes mulling over it when I can move on and do something productive instead?”.
Then he said it became the 5 second rule because he recovered from his frustration about things much quicker and moved on. He not only used this technique when he was in dire situations (and there were many in his life) but even in traffic. One day he was sitting in traffic and was going to be late for a meeting, and instead of being angry at a situation he couldn’t change, he decided he’d use the time thinking of things to be grateful for instead.
Life Winning Rule
Think about that: he discovered how to turn upsetting situations, no matter how big or small, into positive ones. What he is saying is that this is within our power. Each one of us can look at each situation that happens in our lives and decide how we will react to them. Yes, we can be angry or upset or sad, and many situations will cause us to have those feelings. Feelings are valid and we should not suppress them. This is about seeing the situation for what it is, and when there is nothing we can do to change it, decide how we will allow that to affect our lives, our days, and our relationships.
If you ask me, that was a powerful lesson. Of course, to apply this lesson takes a little mindfulness practice. I notice now that sometimes I am feeling anxious or annoyed and need to stop and identify the situation that caused them since they at times are so deep in my subconscious that I’m not even aware. When I make the connection, I use the 5 minute rule. At other times, the situation is more obvious, but we need to use mindfulness to remember to use the 5 minute rule if not yet used to it.
As Hal mentioned, after a while it became second nature to him – but at the beginning, I am sure he had to make an effort to remember to set that alarm: he had not yet formed a habit. Once you decide to make a change for the better in your life, the adoption of a new constructive habit is a great tactic to develop.
Conclusion
The guy is obviously brilliant and a natural at personal development, and took all the opportunities and challenges life threw at him and made the best of them. As for his most popular book, “The Miracle Morning”, they even released a movie about it. I may be watching that soon.
I didn’t even go into the teachings in the book pertaining to the morning routine! But I thought the 5 minute rule to handle frustration to be an important lesson to start with, as it ties to both our ability to respond wisely to situations (instead of reacting impulsively), and to our ability to develop great attitudes and habits, which are both essential parts on our blissful roads to self-development!
Do you think you will start applying the 5 minute rule too?
