How To Be Grateful When Life is Hard
As a kid, my parents used to take me to a butterfly sanctuary to go butterfly watching summer after summer. The serenity they symbolize has always mesmerized me. I am left in awe as I watch them fly from one flower to another. And as part of the experience, we were allowed to catch them, put them in a jar and release them afterward.
I have always admired butterflies. They are the kings and queens of transformation and self-reinvention. Despite their fairly short life-spans (about two weeks as a butterfly), that change and adaptation process for them is just part of nature.
As with us humans, butterflies go through various challenges to reveal their natural inner beauty to the world, and we here at Blissful Road believe that it is our life’s purpose to discover and offer our natural gift as humans to the world, too.
Once we connect to this inner purpose, success in all other areas of our lives will follow.
2020’s challenges
These challenges are what make us great. Like a novel is only as good as its plot, the adversities we face are the ones giving color and brilliance to our lives. The best version of ourselves emerges from the times when we are not in control.
We all know how 2020 derailed us from our plans. The pandemic affected not only our physical but also our mental and spiritual health. It distanced us from our communities. It delayed milestones, postponed vacations, and ultimately covered our smiles. Although we remain connected through various technological channels, transitioning to this kind of ‘connectedness’ all of a sudden took a toll on all of us. We miss hugs.
It is difficult to be grateful in a year like 2020, and whatever you went through, we are proud of you. And as you are here reading this blog post, we are happy that you are taking stock of your emotions. It’s never too late to go back to square one.
Joy > Happiness
They say happiness is based on events, and therefore circumstantial. You may be happy today because you received your Amazon order in the mail, but after a while, this emotion may fade. On the other hand, joy is an unchanging state of contentment and optimism. You may hear that your favorite coffee shop is closing permanently and feel sad, but inside, still, be joyful that you have created great memories with good friends in that establishment.
Joy is an emotion we must continue cultivating within ourselves, and gratefulness plays a major role in our joy. But when things go south, and our fight or flight instinct kicks in, we do not thank the danger. Nobody ever does. But with an adjustment in attitude and mindset, we can start seeing obstacles as they truly are: avenues for opportunities and growth.
We are really never in complete control of our future. We cannot determine what happens to us, but what happens within us, we can.
How To Be Grateful When Life is Difficult
There are days when we wake up with the feeling of contentment and readiness to face yet another challenging 24 hours. When our morning shower is at that sweet spot of warmth, our morning Americano has got that perfect blend of bittersweet, and all traffic lights go green. These are the days when being grateful is a walk in the park.
There are also days when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and a dark cloud follows us everywhere. When we can all think about are our backlogs at work, what to prepare for dinner, and our fast ever-so-growing bills. Believe it or not, these are the days when we need to be more grateful.
Being grateful during tough times is really challenging, and no one can invalidate that fact. It is like swimming against the current… of a freezing river. It seems counter-intuitive and downright impossible, but do not worry because we are here to help you. We have compiled three tips to help you be mindful of your blessings – even when you don’t seem to be receiving any.
Heart to Heart Talks
The society programmed us to bottle up all of our emotions and bury them deep inside. But once we let go of that erroneous belief, we will be able to acknowledge that we are emotional beings – that need emotional release.
Sit down with your spouse, your best friend, your Mom or Dad, or even a stranger. Just speak your heart out and empty your sadness jar. If you can afford to go to a therapist every once in a while, please treat yourself with their sessions. And also, do not forget to return the favor to another person. Be the listener and the shoulder to cry on.
When we verbalize our emotions, we release them. And once the weight is off our shoulders, we will be one step closer to letting the negativity go, and having an attitude of gratitude.
Pause and Reflect
Too often in our lives, we feel like we lack direction. We feel like we are mice running the rat race, feeling purposeless at every turn. After all, life can be a maze. Pausing and reflecting will give you a bird’s eye view of your life. You will have a chance to think back at all your accomplishments and appreciate yourself for getting this far (and we at Blissful Road are proud of you!).
We suggest that you plan ahead. Adjust your schedule to watch the sunset twice a week or have a coffee date with yourself. If you take some time to be alone with your thoughts and how you really feel about them, that could help sort them out. Bring a notebook to jot down things you are thankful for if you don’t have a gratitude journal yet.
Pay it forward
If you can’t find a reason to be thankful, perhaps you can create one. Paint smiles on other people’s faces, and yours will follow. Compliment your colleagues, verbalize your love to your spouse, kids, and parents, or perhaps, you may treat your best friend to lunch.
Among the three tips we have prepared for you, this may be the most difficult for some because we tend to be self-centered. But think about it this way: if seeing your friends and family happy makes you happier, why not bring them some joy by demonstrating gratitude? It’s a win-win.
When Things Go Against You
Have you ever felt like all of the forces of the world are just against you? When you just can’t drag yourself from your bed, and you feel tired. Depression is much more common than we initially think. 18% of the US population suffers from it every year, and it is a growing number. That is nearly 2 out of 10 people ages 18 and older. It could be your co-worker, your spouse, your child, or yourself.
Depression is one of, if not the biggest obstacle to being grateful. Depression is like a parasite that eats away the healthy mindsets that took years to cultivate and establish. But please, hear us out: it is not yet the end.
A prevalent saying goes, “Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Taking one step at a time will help you put things into perspective and point out a reason to be thankful. Believe it or not, gratitude can help you battle depression.
Gratitude and resilience
Dr. Lillian Nejad of Omnipsych teaches that thankfulness aids in attaining resilience. “The idea is that our minds actually work better when we are grateful — allowing us to be more creative, more optimistic, and more capable in our endeavors.”
She also put that grateful people are more likely to be open to encouragement from other people. “Grateful people are more likely to seek support, utilize the resources available to them, and approach problems directly and with a positive outlook. They also try to find the potential for learning and growth. Because grateful people use effective coping skills, they are less stressed when problems arise.”
Focus on the good. When you cannot find a reason to smile and be thankful, remember this short story: A man walks by a shoe store and feels sorry for himself because he cannot afford a pair. He looks at his old, wearing shoes, and close to it, he sees a bowl with a few coins, owned by a beggar who has no feet.
As Real As It Gets
Although we at Blissful Road advocate a lifestyle of gratitude and overall positivity, we do not disregard the importance of seeking professional help. Thankfulness is surely more beneficial alongside proper treatment.
If and when you are experiencing an emotional breakdown and need someone to talk to, feel free to call Mental Health America (if you are in the US).
Here’s their toll-free, 24-hour crisis center hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Better Days
The rain brings colorful rainbows. Difficult hikes lead to breathtaking sights. Caterpillars take time to become butterflies. Life happens in cycles and if you are down, rest assured better days are coming. When life is hard is when you most need to look for things to be grateful for. Give your shoulders a warm pat and gear up because the best version of yourself is on the way!
Be a ray of hope! Express your gratitude to your friends and family today by sending them this short read. Also, check out our other posts, as you may find them extremely helpful, too!
